Oh wells, I am back. And it seems like nothing good happened if I come here to vent. Indeed it didnt. Had a huge quarrel with him yesterday, all because of an event job. It is not because I cannot utd where he is coming from, but this is me, this is who I am. I dont understand why people try to change another individual despite knowing it will make him/her unhappy. I have to say I tried my very best, and I dont deny I have thoughts of giving up. Or rather, I am very stubborn to change for anyone else.

I am disappointed more than angry, when he said that sentence. It hurts because this have been a way of how I survived for so long. Ever since young, I have been taught many painful lessons that money is important, and there is no one but yourself to earn what you want. You can depend on people, you can get help, but no way is a better way than depending on yourself. Only you wont betray yourself.

Just as a quote goes, "I am not afraid of betrayal, but I am afraid that when I turned back, the person who betrayed me was the one I trusted the most".

From young, I have learnt many painful lessons, I have seen many terrible people, and ever since I started working in a bar, I have seen many faces of people that a normal girl going through the usual study route wont undergo. I am not saying I am very honorable, but I think the least I could get, is the respect that I earn what I want to get. So when you judge me, please understand where I came from, how far I have walk this journey to bring me to where I am right now.

When you said you understand me more than I understand you, just how much do you understand me? Understand what I love to eat, my fav color, my fav drinks, my fav past times. Are these what you considered understanding me? If it is, then you might want t re-consider the term 'understand'. 

He called and said a lot today, for a moment, I thought he want to give up & end it. I felt a surge of conflicting feelings & do not know what to say. Cause' I utd it will be very hard on the both of us, & it will probably be easier to end it now than later. On another hand, I knew I will be upset cause' I am totally serious about this. I ain't sure what I will do when either happened. In the end, all he is trying to say is he hope both of us could work really hard to make this work. If he had said we should give each other some time, I probably will not hold him back, because it is going to be hard for him as well. & if he is to give up at such an issue, then whats the point of being tgt in the long run? There are bound to have many hiccups due to the different personalities. At least thats what I will think I do. Since he has decided to hang on after understanding all these differences, probably I should work a little harder too. I am confused, because I no longer feel exactly the same.

I wonder how does the other couple talk through quarrels, how they manage through the bad times. I might be single for 7 years to the eyes of many people, but I do have dates in btw which I didnt revealed them. But cause' of all that, I have thought to let go if things doesn't wrk. I am probably, as much as I do not want to admit, still a princess & too strong headed. But if you yourself don't think for yourself, who will? The world is cruel, you will never know.

P.S: Changing the blog back to tisaintafairytale cause' this probably fits in just nice. *shrugs*

Till the next time,
STAR