09AUG16

Happy 51st birthday, Singapore.

In a situation where I am feeling very suffocated, very confused, and want to just leave the country like I've always wanted to. I thought I have grew up after all these years, facing the music, rather than simply wanting to run away. I thought I am done with all these, but I guess, humans never really change, and so never will I.

When I just to justify he is avoiding the issue, I realized I am also doing so. I couldnt be brave enough to face the music, I couldnt make a decision. I want to give up, but I am stupidly holding on to the fact I still have someone by my side, someone I am familiar. The thoughts of re-familiarizing with another person sends a chill down my spine, and to me, it is very tiring.

Whenever I want to talk, just thinking about it changes my mind. And by the end of the day, I get so tired that I just want to go home and sleep. And forget about everything.

I haven been really happy ever since 2 months ago that this issue occurred. Coming here to pen down my thoughts made me look back on the past 2 years, and I realized I have been running away from the issue since then. 26 this year, turning 27 in less than half a year. No longer young, wild, and free. The decision will affect my life in the future.

Tired of all these, procrastination of my decision making, is pulling me down. Plastering a smile everyday, lei le,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnh6966tdC8

*Star